By: Jake Sockett Twitter: @SockettJake Instagram: @jake.sockett

I usually try to start these with a little anecdote or some cutesy intro to hook the reader in because it’s good form and an effective writing style but today I’m getting right into it:

Daylight savings is a load of shit.

I’m not here to argue with you about time as a whole concept and blah blah whatever because that’s an entirely different conversation to be having. I’m here to tell you that daylight savings is a product of unnecessary praise that we as a country bestow upon Ben Franklin and agrarian culture.

Ben Franklin invented daylight savings and because of this I would just like to extend a general thought to Ben. Ben, if you’re reading this from the other side, you’re a hack and I hate you. I could get into Ben Franklin and his ridiculously high standing in history for no real reason another time, but in short, we give that dude so much love despite him just being ‘eh’ overall and inventing this fuck-ass time management system*.

More importantly, it was invented because at the time the United States was an agrarian society where a majority of the population were farmers who needed to be awake early in the morning to tend to crops before it got too hot. There aren’t really any jobs that require people to be up that early and be able to see like it’s daytime anymore. We have ways of providing enough light without fucking everyone’s sleep schedule.

It just makes everyone’s life so much worse! As I write this it’s 5:17 p.m. and it is fully dark outside as if it is the middle of the night. My ability to gauge time is fucked again until the spring. And for what? For who do I struggle for? No one. Not one damn person.

Another thing- the “extra” hour of sleep is entirely fake. You’ve been hoodwinked by society yet again! Your body clock is adjusted to sleep for roughly the same number of hours you regularly get. So, if you sleep for 7 hours normally, you’ll still wake up 7 hours later, you’ll just be waking up an hour earlier. The exception to this would be if you’re already tired enough to sleep more than your normal body clock time.

Moral of the story; you’re not getting as much sleep as you think.

I dunno man. I hate daylight savings. It confuses me a lot. Arizona doesn’t do it, they’ve got it figured out. We need to catch up to them.

Deuces.

NNNN

Editor’s Note:

*- I think I speak for everyone when I say an examination into “hack” Ben Franklin is in order. As for daylight savings? Sham.

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